Season 1: 1983Edit
|1||January 22, 1983||7004||Vint and the Kids Move In||Mama's in a hurry to get to the mall for a sale and tries to hurry Fran along to finish eating. But before that can happen Fran's boss at the newspaper calls. Telling her she has to come in and re-edit her latest story. Mama is obviously upset because she can't drive and has no way to get to the sale. Meanwhile Vinton, Mama's only son, drops by the house and announces that he and the kids have been evicted from their house.
Now he's hoping that he, his daughter Sonja, and his son Buzz, can stay with Mama until he gets back on his feet. Against Fran's wishes Mama agrees. Vint gets the basement, Buzz gets the attic, and Sonja gets Fran's writing studio because she refuses to sleep on the couch. Fran is outraged by this, and her and Mama have a huge argument about it. Fran's mood turns even more sour when she finds out Sonja stumbled up on the book that she'd been working on recently and reads it.
Fran says it's an invasion of her privacy and finally makes the decision that she'll move out because she can't take the stress anymore. Of course Mama had no idea that Fran was actually writing in her studio. But later as things settle down a bit, her and Mama have a heart to heart and she changes her mind and decides to stay after all.
|2||January 29, 1983||7005||For Better or For Worse||After many years of not seeing each other, since high school, Vinton and Mama's next door neighbor Naomi Oates are reunited. They become quite close and Vint tells her that he had a big crush on her in high school. After coming home from the Bigger Jigger at 2 in the morning, Naomi and Vint go down to the basement to look at Vint's collection of TV Guides (25 years worth). Naomi remarks on how cute Mr. Ed is because that was her favorite show.
They end up sleeping together and the next morning, while Mama and Fran are in the kitchen having breakfast, Naomi attempts to sneak out and is caught. Mama becomes apoplectic at Vint. Naomi, who had just sold her house, asks Vint to come with her to Arizona to run a trailer park because the job wants a husband and wife. Vint agrees and lets everyone know that he and Naomi plan on getting married and moving to Arizona. Mama is so shocked that she tells them that they can have the wedding at her house.
|3||February 5, 1983||7006||The Wedding Part 1||Vint and Buzz go to a bachelor party in celebration of Vint's impending marriage to Naomi. Meanwhile back at the house, Fran, Ellen, and Mama are decorating the living room when Naomi arrives with a bottle of wine (which Ellen claims is cheap). They get drunk and learn that Ellen thinks her husband, Bruce, is cheating on her with his secretary Peggy.
Everyone pretends to be shocked at the news, but had thought that all along and try to convince Ellen that she is wrong. She phones his office and is surprised that Bruce answers and says that Peggy is a saint for letting him keep her there that late and that Ellen didn't to wait up for him. Ellen remarks that the only thing that could ruin this day is if Eunice showed up. The ladies start taking about how Eunice wants to sing at the wedding and all agree it would be a total disaster.
Eunice arrives through the back door, overhears the conversation and obviously becomes upset. Coming into the living room she blows her cool. Blabbing the secret, she tells Ellen about Bruce's cheating and Ellen blames the ladies for lying to her about her husband. Vint arrives home drunk with Buzz just as the whole gang starts fighting. "Ooooh boy," observes Mama, "tomorrow's gonna be a long day!!"
|4||February 12, 1983||7007||The Wedding Part 2||The day of the wedding is at hand, and Vint and Naomi are ready to tie the knot. While Eunice still wants to sing her solo, she first asks Vint who says she'll have to talk to Naomi about it. Mama then gives Vint his daddy's sapphire ring as a wedding present, along with a strict warning never to let Eunice know about it in any way; Eunice thinks it's rightfully her ring, because Carl always wanted her to have it (or so she thought), and if she finds out he and Naomi got it instead, there's no telling what she'll do. Vint shows the ring to Naomi (but foolishly forgets to remind her not to let Eunice know about it!). While Naomi is getting ready she relents and lets Eunice have her solo, which puts her in an unusually cheery mood...until Naomi shows her the ring, saying it's something old, borrowed and blue and she prepares to wear it around her neck. And of course, Eunice, becoming apoplectic upon finding out about the ring, pledges to Mama, "This time old lady, you've gone TOO FAR!!!"
Vint and Naomi say their vows and Eunice, upset at Mama for giving her ring away and has had a few too many beers, prepares to sing her solo in front of the whole crowd. She only manages two lines of the solo and then vents her rage at Mama about the ring and other "promises" she thinks Mama made to her and broke, Mama yells back, Naomi gets insulted by a remark from Eunice ("recycled bride") and tries to defend herself, Vint's kids get told to "soak their heads in Clearasil" and before long, the wedding has degenerated into a demolition derby (to use Mama's later description of the whole thing), with Eunice apoplectically insulting everyone and eventually Ed has to carry her out.
Later, Mama and Fran sit on the couch, and enjoy the peace and quiet that they now have. Vint (who decided to take the kids after all), Naomi, and the kids have left for Arizona. But the peace doesn't last long as just then, they walk back into the house, saying that the whole thing was a scam, and they lost all their money. They'll have to move back in with Mama. Again.
|5||February 19, 1983||7013||Family Feud||Vinton gets an idea of taking the family (eveyone except Sonja) on to the game show Family Feud (with Richard Dawson), so that they can have a chance at winning $10,000. He's even selected each person for his team for different reasons: Buzz (the teenage heartthrob), Naomi (the beauty), Mama (the sweet old lady), and Ellen and Vint as the brains of the family and could probably win the money on their own. Ellen disagrees and says that she is the only one that is smart enough to win the money (meaning that Vint is dumb).
Everyone takes a while to convince Mama to go, but she finally gives in. The opposing family is the very snooty Van Courtlands, who win the first round. Vint ends up winning the second match-up and decides to play in order to take the lead. After a short break, the point values are doubled and the Van Courtlands win the face-off and almost win the game, but Mama gets one last chance to steal.
The survey question was "What do you wind up?" and the Harper's are telling Mama to answer with "A mechanical tin man" but she says "A letter," and they lose their chance at $10,000. Back at home, everyone is ready to watch themselves on Family Feud and asks Mama to join them. She refuses saying that she doesn't want to watch making a fool of herself and makes a wish to Carl, her deceased husband, to make something happen in order to stop the showing at that instant. His answer? A sudden power failure leaving the whole block without power.
|6||February 26 1983||7008||Cellmates||Mama, Vint and Ed throw Eunice a surprise birthday party at the Bigger Jigger. The problem: Eunice is hoping for a trip to the Babylonian Roof Gardens. The birthday party soon turns ugly as Vint mentions Duke Reeves (he has a poster on the bar announcing his run for congress), who came to the house one day with flowers wanting to take Eunice out for a soda. But Mama turned him down and sent him away. Eunice starts making a huge scene about Duke being the only man she's ever loved.
Vint goes to pick up Naomi and Ed goes to read the bathroom walls, when the argument escalates into an all out fight, and Eunice ends up punching a cop out and Mama whacks one with her pocket book and Mama and Eunice end up in jail. Scarlet, a hooker, arrives soon after they do and their fighting soon gets on her nerves and she tries to mediate a truce.
She then tells them about her Mama and how she hated her every day, until she died and how she wished she was still living. Mama and Eunice make up just as Ed comes to throw their bail. Not forgetting to say hi to his "old friend" Scarlet in the process.
|7||March 5, 1983||7012||Mama Gets a Job||Mama is complaining about not having done nothing with her life, so Naomi suggests she get a job. So Mama heads down to the employment agency, and after freaking out taking the entry test, she has to go through an interview. The Clerk suggest she doesn't have much of a chance of getting a job, until she remembers Raytown Travel is looking for a new secretary. Mama takes the job and starts that Saturday.
Mr. Vogelman, Mama's new boss, gives her a quick tour of her duties and leaves as Mama sets up her desk for the day. First she has trouble with the phone, not being able to get anyone to answer when she picked up (she had to push the lighted button), once she got that down, a couple came in and wanted to book a trip to Tahiti. But then the family calls, having a crisis involving Buzz' missing shoes and Sonja locking herself in the bathroom, and soon enough Mama starts being rude to everyone, and Mr. Vogelman decides she's just not the right person for the job so he fires her.
|8||March 12, 1983||7011||Double Standard||Buzz and Sonja are getting ready for the high school's Homecoming dance, when Vint tells the kids they both have to be in by midnight. Both complain, but Sonja (who's older) doesn't understand why she has the same curfew as Buzz. Vint says it's because she's a girl. Later Vint tells Buzz to take an extra hour if he wants. Which really upsets Sonja when she finds out, she tells Vint that she might not be back on time and storms out with her date.
Vint, Mama and Fran are sitting up waiting to see if Sonja will be home on time. When Buzz comes home an hour before midnight, seems his date thought he was a jerk and dumped him for a football player. Just as Vint is getting worried, Sonja shows up still pissed and screams at Vint again. She storms off again into the kitchen and Mama follows where she finds out, Sonya had to come home, because her date had a curfew of midnight himself.
|9||March 19, 1983||7010||Mama's Boyfriend||Mama is all dressed up as Fran gets back from the store and she wonders "Who Died?" Buzz soon asks the same question, before Mama reveals she has a date with an old beau she hasn't seen in some 40 years. Much to the family's objections Mama goes out with her old flame.
After staying out most of the night on there first date and having such a great time, not to mention worrying poor old Fran half to death. Woody asked Thelma to go up to the lake with him like they did 40 years ago. She readily accepts to everyone's surprise. The family protests, most notably Vint, but Mama goes anyway.
When they reach the cabin Mama gets nervous and starts an argument much like she did 40 years ago. After discussing the situation over a beer they both decide they made the right decision so long ago and end up coming home earlier than either had planned.
|10||March 26, 1983||7003||Fran's Dress||Vint, who has a bowling tournament, wants Mama to wash and iron his shirt and have dinner ready early. Then Fran, who has an awards banquet that night, asks Mama to iron the dress she plans to wear. Ellen comes by to pick Mama up and has to remind her of the her appointment she has. So Mama's is in a rush to get to her hair appointment, and she burns a hole in Fran's dress.
Ellen and Mama then go to Neidermeyer's in hopes they can find the same dress. After finding it and having to pay $55 for it, Fran comes home early and tries it on. Vint then comes in and finds out Mama not only didn't fix dinner early, she didn't iron his lucky yellow shirt either.
As for Fran's dress, turns out it's the wrong dress and it looks almost nothing like the other one. Fran throws a fit and her and Mama have a huge fight. In the end Fran decides to wear another dress.
|11||April 2, 1983||7002||Alien Marriage||Claude, having come up with another hair brained scheme, tells Vint that he has a good deal, and Vint could make $1600 (and Claude will make $400 for a finders fee). The plan is for Vint to marry a girl from Portugal who needs her green card to stay in the country. The family accidentally finds out, when Mr. Costa and Zenada drop by for an unannounced visit. It seems Zenada will have to stay with the family for a few days to make it look like a real marriage, which Mama is, of course, flat out refusing to let her do.
Mama is out bringing in the laundry, when Naomi comes over to complain about the sap falling on her car from Mama's tree. When Mama tells her about the marriage, and Naomi tells her how illegal it is. It seems Vint could get a felony for a false marriage if he goes through with it.
Claude and the bride-to-be stop by to drop off her roll-a-way bed and a few of her things, when Mama starts screaming and manages to explain a few things. Vint begins to realize that it's not as good a deal as it seemed and decides not to go along with it, telling Claude and Mr. Costa that they should find someone else for the job.
|12||April 30, 1983||7009||Positive Thinking||Eunice is telling Mama how bad her life sucks, while at the same moment making everyone else's life a living hell too. That's when Buzz comes in and tells Mama about how he just made the debate team after listening to a positive thinking tape. Eunice and Mama both shrug it off as nothing, that is until Eunice gets home and Ed wants his supper, and she starts listening to the tape while she starts dinner and it begins to work.
The next day Eunice shows up at Mama's house with presents and a new sunny out look. She gives Vint the old movie reels of their childhood and Naomi gets the ear rings she's been admiring. Eunice then announces she got a role in a play at the Pepper Pot Playhouse. Problem is, her rehearsal schedule conflicts with a sale that she was gonna take Mama too. So she invites Mama to go with her and go to the sale afterwards.
Eunice plays "Sadie", a small but important part, according to Eunice. With Mama sitting by they make a run through of Eunice's lines and then the director and the play's star, Sally, have a conversation and decide to give most of Eunice's lines to Sally. Mama tells Eunice she's getting pushed around and how she wouldn't take it, so Eunice makes a huge scene and quits the play.
|13||May 7, 1983||7001||Mama's Silver||Mama's going on about Vint's friend Claude being a bum and everything, when Ellen finally brings Mama's silver back. Mama wants Vint to put it up right then, so no one will steal it. But he first gets a call from Claude, who needs a favor. Seems Claude got in a bar fight and he's locked up in jail and needs $250 for his bail. Vint catches Ellen before she leaves and asks her, but she refuses. So he pawns Mama's silver to get the money.
The next morning Mama goes to put some stuff away in the closet and discovers it's gone. She wakes Vint up and he admits he took it and pawned it. Blowing her top Mama tells Vint to get her silver back and he then tells her why he needed the money. That only serves to get her madder.
In the midst of the screaming match, Vint decides to leave, and Sonja says she can stay with Nancy. So Vint goes to the basement to pack his stuff, but Mama can't stand to see him go and calls him back upstairs and in their own way they make peace, at least for a few moments.